How To Survive The Festive Season

And possibly thrive, with relations intact...

I wrote a piece for The Seedling Christmas Print Edition and thought I would share it too as life has been so incredibly busy of late I haven’t had the time to write here. The print edition is the first for The Seedling - a 32 page mini magazine full of spirit-lifting content to celebrate the season, to have and to hold.

My musings on the most wonderful time of the year! Oh yes it is…! I’m lucky to have a four year old to keep the magic alive with her siblings but I do need stamina with reserves and a sense of humour in good working order to keep that magic for us all…

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” Say it again. Sing it even. Louder. Turn up Bing Crosby, don your Christmas jumper, some sparkly earrings, and eat a mince pie for goodness sake. Now hold your head up high, strap yourself in and climb aboard the Christmas Train (wreck) - bound for festive parties, managing tricky relatives and sugar-high children; endless to-do lists, decking the halls and cranking the carols.

Don’t misunderstand me - Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year for me. Every year, however, I do also forget how exhausting it is, and try to remind myself not to put too much pressure on us all to have the most gloriously cliched memory-making moments through the holiday season.

Christmas can be like a concentrated 3-day Olympic Ceremony - there’s an obligation for the host and the participants to get it right - for diplomatic relations, for everyone to win something and get on the podium; to make it joyful, inclusive, stylish even!

Sadly yet realistically, it can also be the loneliest time of year for many, navigating grief of loss or estrangement from loved ones; and the kind of Christmas you dreamed of - all while trying to rally against a barrage of messaging cajoling us to be merry and bright.

If mental load is a thing (trust me it is), festive mental load is literally groaning with the heavy weight of all the many hats we wear throughout the year building to a crescendo at carol services across the globe. Where the nearest hint of a child singing ‘Silent Night’ or wearing a nativity donkey costume will start a misty eyed conga through the congregation. And by the time you’ve watched the new John Lewis Christmas advert, you’re a sobbing mess. And it’s not even the final Advent countdown.

This Christmas caper is non stop - “Have you bought the Christmas jumpers before they sold out? what about teachers gifts? have you ordered the turkey? where is Aunt Margot going to spend Christmas? what about the dogs? Did you remember the wrapping? we can’t find sellotape anywhere! what about the wreath? how can we be the only home without a wreath?! did everyone forage and make their own? how have people sent their Christmas cards already? why are the fairy lights unable to be untangled, who put them away like this?! Me. Of course. Don’t fall out of the loft! why am I sobbing at the John Lewis ad again. Can someone please turn down Mariah Carey? I can’t think. I can’t breathe…”

I haven’t even mentioned family and extended family yet. How have you prepared mind, body and spirit for that?! I have a friend who needs valium to get through staying with her in-laws for Christmas every two years. Extreme perhaps, yet Christmas can test even the very best of family relations. A quietly escalating passive aggressive mood can build where faintly competitive hosting/gifting/wearing coupled with a lot of time spent indoors, can breed tensions that even the most bracing of wintery walks won’t alleviate.

That’s why it’s important to remember the ‘Spirit of Christmas’. There is a reason the abominably long winter is broken up with a holiday tradition let alone the real reason for Christmas which we so often forget. We need time to stop and be together with loved ones; we need the fairy lights, the food, the festivities and all the magic we can muster. So here are five festive rules to follow to make sure you’re dancing around, not sleeping under, the tree this Christmas...

Perspective & Gratitude
I know, so overused used that the words are a bit like ‘thoughts and prayers’ but honestly it’s the only way to check the utter privilege and over-consuming habits we participate in year after year. Are we fortunate enough to spend Christmas in comfort and (debatable) joy? Yes indeed we are.

Christmas Chuckles
The festive version of Church Giggles is literally the gift that keeps on giving. A charitable Christmas chuckle and laughter through tears will see you through from parties to carols to family bust ups to children’s meltdowns and will endear you to even the most awkward Christmas-jumper wearing party guest.

Party Armour
Choose some shiny, happy colourful party staples to wear as your armour this Christmas - the brighter and sparklier, the better. Prepare for battle. Or just to burn bright and share the love...

Silent Nights
Break up the 12 days+ of endless parties and forced fun with some silent nights. Preferably in a hot bath with soothing oils with only the sound of a dripping tap as a respite from all the Christmas noise. A few solitary moments can be your friend in the lead up and during the festivities.

Be In Your Bauble
Focus on the shiniest, sparkliest bauble on your Christmas tree and jump inside it mentally to let any words that feel like arrows bounce off. This is especially useful when well-meaning relatives ask difficult questions, there are comments about your choice of decorations or food, and how brilliant your partner is to be ‘so hands on’ at Christmas. Emerge from your bauble only when the coast is clear.

Keep calm and carry on this Christmas - do the very best you can and that will surely have to be enough. Delegate like mad, eat you greens and quaff the quality street too. Sort your sparkly wardrobe ahead of time so you can feel your best. Breathe, smile, have a little cry if needed. Buy something for yourself, wrap it up for under the tree and unwrap it on the big day. Pray for snow (it makes everything better except the roads), and remember - this truly IS the most wonderful time of the year...

@emilyflorence_