Love in a Hot Climate
On Star Gazing & Mid Life Romance...
Happy Valentine’s Day! I know Valentines can be a little commercial and cheesy but I’ve always loved it, probably because it’s also my birthday! My mother would make me a heart-shaped cake every year and there were tiny mystery mailbox letters usually masterminded by my parents or grannie. I have continued to embrace the spreading love vibe, because I firmly believe love is all you need. Ok that’s an exaggeration but I think of it as my lighthouse for life. And as for Valentines - hearts and flowers, kind words and chocolate, mystery surprises - I mean what’s not to love? So, for this Valentines month substack post, please allow me to indulge my amore di amore, with a little love story…
Once an upon a time in a coastal town in Australia, a life-weathered cowboy drifted into a beachside bar. He hears a laugh so recognisable, it stops him in his tracks and he smiles as he orders a cold beer - a quiet moment to gather his thoughts before he goes in search of the laughter and light. But it’s not to be. Beer untouched, he strides out again, deciding he’s not quite ready to meet the laugh, and accept the love, that would change his mid life destiny. He paces along the beach, listening to the sound of the waves, feeling a little hot and bothered far from the wide open dusty spaces of home in the outback, and he wonders…
That laugh - surely it was her. It takes me back to those carefree days, to the fun, hot, and tender moments under the scorching sun and beneath the glittering stars of the vast western plains; to happy times at home. To youthful bravado, to long country drives and dares between cattle grids; to singing our hearts out to Garth and Kenny and The Rolling Stones; to longing stares and stolen kisses in the back of Utes; to wrangling horses, mustering cattle and obsessing over dogs - our shared love of animals, sometimes more than people, forging a deep unspoken bond. What was it that was so magic back then? Was it naivety and the sheer romance of youth set against a scenic backdrop? The cliched memories - chasing sunsets on horseback, star gazing tangled together under a blanket, and winking across cattle yards and noisy bars from beneath our sweaty akubra hats - they’re all still there and damn, they are good.
It’s been 30 years. So much has happened. We’ve both loved, lost, grown, flown, created children, careers, chased dreams, travelled wide, carried scars and risen from heartbreak to build new lives again. Life journeys in parallel never thinking the roads would merge let alone converge. We’ve been in contact here and there, allowing hearts to race for a moment but appropriately cool down, and never in person; we’ve shared tall tales but kept our cards - hearts and aces, especially, close. It somehow feels foolish, even possibly dangerous, to break the drought. It could never be the same as back then. We are different, we are older…
Am I being a hopeless old romantic? Perhaps. I got cold feet at the surf club, alarmed at the quickening of my heart and mind and the memories flooding back. Bloody old sentimental fool. For who am I anyway to think she’d welcome me back into her life, let alone just for a drink. But I’m sure it was her. Nobody laughs like she does. I didn't need to see her to know the laugh belonged to her and after all these years, I could picture her easily. Nobody else laughs with such wild abandon - it starts with a squeal and ends with a deep, dirty, conspiratorial holler - head thrown back, dark eyes dancing in the light of the last drinks flashing of the pub or the vehicle dashboard light…
It was you Janey - the long-limbed, raven-haired, sharp-minded, warm-hearted Geena Davis/Julia Roberts-esque vision of a woman. I wanted so badly to bound across the bar and confirm it was you, to claim you, yet set you free. To say the things I have always wanted to say, to see if we might rekindle the flame that still raged despite us trying to stamp it out. But I lost my nerve. I saved it for my fantasy back in the bush. This could wait. But could it?
The next day over text exchange:
Sam: Janey*, could that have been you I heard laughing at the Surf Club yesterday?
Janey: Sam*! OMG. Guilty! Why didn’t I see you? Why didn’t you come and say g’day? How long are you here?
Sam: Oh Janey, you know me, the shy old cowboy, out of my comfort zone… I’m here with my girls, a little beach break for the bushie. Maybe we could have a coffee before I head back out west?
Janey: Make it a rum and you have a deal?
Sam: You’re on! How about this eve?
Sam: PS I’ve been wondering, since your laugh sounds exactly the same, do you still have that exquisitely tiny mole beneath your right collar bone? ;-)
*names have been changed to protect identities!
This is not an antipodean reimagining of Love In A Cold Climate, or an attempt at Mills & Boon. Nor is it Jilly Cooper Down Under or a Crocodile Dundee Part IV…
It’s a real (mid) life love story. And while I admit to considerable poetic license in the passage above, it’s very closely based on a true story that is unfolding as I write and I couldn’t be more excited for the main characters.
This tale is a rekindling of one of my dearest friends and a talented cowboy she met 30 years ago. Before I go further, let me assure you I have sought permission of my friend and her cowboy too. I have changed their names for a nod to anonymity but really, it’s not hard to work out the identities for those of us that know either of them. They are also exceptionally carefree and in a ‘spreading love’, ‘shout it from the rooftops’ sort of loved-up euphoria. Love is real! Love can come again! Love is the answer! Love is the drug!
This is not a case of using a cowboy metaphor or succumbing to Yellowstone fever. Her cowboy is the real deal - and in fact has trained the Yellowstone crew. He’s travelled far and wide, as has she, but they’ve found themselves back where it all began between the beach and the bush in their beloved Great Southern Land.
This is a real (mid) life love story. A tale of surf and turf.
Of serendipity and taking life by the bull horns. Of two people finally realising that love, laughter and light is not only allowed, but to be chased down, enjoyed and celebrated, at any age…
There is something surprisingly special about mid-life love or a rekindling after decades apart, and generally navigating romance and relationships with real life wisdom under your belt. Janey has done the work - she’s had to navigate the sticky, tricky parts of a failing marriage, the decision to separate and divorce, and hyper-focus on ensuring it was the best ‘conscious uncoupling’ for the sake of her family. She did it. And it was hard. And so now, by God, does she deserve to do easy things. Like falling head-over-cowboy-boot-heels in love! Through life experience and sheer resilience, she now knows what she wants, what she absolutely does not want, and how to communicate both. Can I get a hallelujah?!
Janey tells me, “Look I’ll be honest, I’d rather it worked out with the father of my offspring. But if this is what was waiting in the wings, then I’m happy it’s all ended up this way.”
This love affair is actually more than a rekindling - it’s a big bright burning flame - created with giant logs on an outdoor fire made together from the bush surrounding them that stretches for miles under the enormous blue sky. And it’s about showing up as who they both are as individuals, as adults, without pretence, loving hard and leaving nothing to chance, or fear of failure.
It’s holding hands out gladiator-style to feel the long grass of a good season while chasing a sunset, to making playlists while they’re apart and meals to eat in bed when together, to making out under a full moon with curious cattle wandering over for a look, to long phone calls between beach and bush, talking and listening for hours. It’s an old school love for an old(er) couple who feel like teenagers again. It’s pulling up a swag (that’s Aussie slang for a bush sleeping bag for those that don’t know) and snuggling under the stars telling secrets from the past and sharing hopes for the future.
When we first began our school girl fantasies about finding ‘the one’ it was always about future plans - the silly dreams of running away with our hot cowboys who would be best of friends, of course. Now, when hovering around half a century of life, it’s all about the now. Not about the past, not about the future but right here, right now. Saying yes to love, to fun, to adventure, to life. Janey’s doing it. To hell with the past and why worry about the future, the power is in the now, and she is on fire! Whatever happens next, she’s cracked her heart wide open and knows the magic that exists, and she’s now old enough and strong enough to deal with whatever lies ahead and wise enough to know that she won’t accept less.
What Janey and Sam have now was the stuff of our school girl dreams in geography class together 34 years ago! Now my WhatsApp lights up all hours with the rush of new love littered with excited emojis; and the sweet innocence and love renewal of it all is utterly life affirming. To see my brilliant friend going for it and letting the love rain down, is a joy to behold, keeping my faith in love and laughter, of fun and fresh starts, running high. It’s a reassuring tale of love through the ages, a comforting reminder that love exists, and that we can be fun and childlike and joyful again, whatever our age or stage, in existing relationships or new. And so even if there is a ‘The End’, it will have also heralded a new beginning, and so the cycle of love and life continues.
I think I want to write it into a steamy outback romance novel - a love story under the stars, a tale of new beginnings, of cowboy-meets-wildflower; what do y’all think?
phew... hot and heavy for a Friday morning - just the way I like it. It is certainly a hot climate here as we are sweltering in the February heat. I love your romanticism. Keep it coming and happy birthday V Day baby x
Write the book, I’m already hooked xx