Screen Savers
How To Create Boundaries With Your Screens...
Written for The Seedling by March ‘25
Do you know anyone that doesn’t have a smartphone? Or that isn’t glued to a screen or some description for at least half of the day? Our digital reliance is a collective norm and a worrying one, but we are in this together - an addicted generation raising an addicted generation, waiting for a screen saviour to come along and save us. We need to find a way through it - and not via Roblox or Minecraft or clearing our inboxes.
There’s a reason Oxford’s 2024 word of the year was ‘brain rot’ - defined as ‘the supposed deterioration of a person's mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as the result of overconsumption of trivial or unchallenging online content’. We want to optimise our brains, not let them rot! By now we are all well aware of the negative impact of excessive screen time on productivity, mental health, and the well-being of our brains and bodies but it’s also the loss of connection and the increase in loneliness that appears to be the saddest part of it all and at completely at odds with what a screen tempts us with. Once upon a time standing in a queue was a time to strike up a conversation, waiting in a doctors surgery a time to connect with the family member you’re with, sitting on a train a chance to have polite chit chat. That connection is lost and so too is our confidence in social interaction.
While we lap up content about boundaries with phone usage for our offspring, the uncomfortable truth is that, like most things, what we model is what our children see as normal and often aspire to. My five-year old is always on her imaginary ‘smart’ phone and I, don’t, wonder why.
Like everything in our thoroughly modern world, the screen conundrum is layered, ever-changing, guilt-inducing and also defense-making. It’s simply not as easy to break up with our screens as one would hope. We need them… for everything in our daily lives it seems - from work emails to diary management; school admin to telling the time, the weather and our step counts; to timing our pasta, taking photos, listening to our meditation and audio books; and setting our alarms.
My children insist we have no screens when watching movies together. That they are the ones pressing their parents to be present without screens is enough to make me want to quit altogether. But it is challenging when there are deadlines and not enough hours in the day. While I’m always looking at the daily screen of my teenagers and ignore their requests for more time, I cannot bear to look at my own stats…
‘‘Recent studies have shown that spending extended time on our phones affects our ability to form new memories, think deeply, focus and absorb information, and the hormones triggered every time we hear our phones buzz both add to our stress levels and are the hallmark signs of addiction” says award-winning science journalist Catherine Price in her best-selling book,
How to Break Up with Your Phone.
In her book, Price explores the effects that our constant connectivity is having on our brains, bodies, relationships, and society at large and asks, “how much time do you really want to spend on your phone?”
Perhaps in this question lies the secret to change. Instead of feeling like we’re failing, are in trouble and like kids without their candy, we need to want to be on our screens less.
It’s a bit like decreasing alcohol or sugar consumption. Sometimes it’s not just realistic to go cold turkey, but we all benefit from reducing intake as much as possible.
If you, like me, cannot seem to break the habit, here are 10 tips to help us lower screen usage to a more enjoyable and less addictive level…
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Look at the data & track your phone usage
In your iPhone, there is a screen time feature built that tells you how much screen time you have in a week and what apps you are using the most. This can help you become more aware of your habits and identify areas for improvement. You may be surprised to see what apps take most of your time.
Set yourself daily & weekly limits
This is not just for your children. Once you have the data, set a goal to decrease the usage, and reward yourself to sticking with it, each week trying to knock another hour or two off the last week. I love a bit of data and am setting goals to decrease phone and increase steps (but the irony is not lost that this data is on the phone!)
Change your phone to greyscale
A brilliant tip suggested in this Mel Robbins podcast episode that has been proven to reduce screen time by 1 hour a day. Simply - Open Settings, Tap Accessibility, Tap Display & Text Size, Tap Colour Filters and enable it, and then Select Grayscale. Now when you pick up your phone the grey is not nearly as dopamine-hitting as colourful apps and content.
Insist on screen free time before bed
This is hard for those of us that catch up on WhatsApps and a little scrolling before bed before setting the alarm but it’s a game changer. And think of all those books you want to read.
Use an alternative alarm clock
To help with the point above, get yourself an analog or digital alarm clock that is not your phone, simply so you’re not tempted to have your phone by your bed and therefore cut down or avoid entirely the before bed and wake up doom scroll. The benefits to brain and therefore sleep and emotional motivation are almost instant.
Turn off notifications
On your phone, go to Settings > Notifications and then toggle off ‘Allow Notifications’ for specific apps or turn on a Focus mode like ‘Do Not Disturb’ to silence all notifications temporarily.
Insist on screen free meals - for yourself
Nevermind no screens on the table for family meals, insist on this for yourself when eating on the run or at home by yourself. We are conditioned to watch or scroll while eating but it’s the worst for digestion and means we never take a break.
Charge your phone in another room
Try keeping your charger in a neutral place that is not your bedroom or usual living/working space so you can’t reach for it 24/7. You can buy lockable boxes with chargers inside that are brilliant for putting everyone’s phone in the household away. Have regular ‘screen free’ time as a family - pop all your devices in to charge and get outside.
Remove apps
Identify what apps you reach for the most and try removing them temporarily for the weekend or at least a day and notice how often you try to find them on your Home Screen. (you can remove from Home Screen without deleting so all your data is still there when you reinstall). Taking a break is empowering and helps you put your phone down again.
Compensate screen time with outdoor time
Refresh the toxic toll of screen time on your body and mind by adding an hour of outdoor activity even if just a walk (without your phone!) for every two hours of screen time. And remember the 20/20/20 rule - take a 20 second break every 20 minutes and look 20 feet away.
My 14 year old daughter asks me what it was like to grow up without phones and laptops and the internet as a child. She proclaims she would much prefer it. The rise of ‘dumb phones’ in teens is a trend that may just stick. This article in The NY Times - Now in College, Luddite Teens Still Don’t Want Your Likes - Three years after starting a club meant to fight social media’s grip on young people, many original members are holding firm and gaining new converts is encouraging for the generation growing up now. Some of them are getting fed up with screens and social media and so are we. I mentioned this trend to my daughter and she winced and said “that is so lame”. So there’s a way to go… but we can start by reducing our screen time and living life a bit more in real time in the real world - for ourselves and crucially, for our children to see.