20 Lessons I've Learned This Month
It's been a wild ride but I still have love for lessons learned in October...
It’s the start of half-term. Two glorious weeks, mostly at home, with my children where we will spend time together, work on our goals, be healthy and productive stay in our pyjamas, spend a bit of time on screens, eat cosy food and revel in the fact we don’t have to be on any crazy three-hour-round-trip school runs. I don’t even feel an ounce of guilt about our lowly ambitions for the break. I’m just grateful we made it here... this month has been a wild ride.
“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers…”
Anne of Green Gables, L.M.Montgomery
I wonder if Octobers were different in Novia Scotia all those literary years ago. It is testament to the staying power of Anne with an ‘e’ and her unshakeable positivity. I am trying as hard as I can to love October. I know I do love Autumn these days and I am grateful for all the blessings in my life, including dear old Anne of Green Gables (why won’t my children love her as much?!). However, it’s been a fraught few weeks managing new school starts for oldest and youngest, with varying degrees of success; a lot of worry for my eldest and her school transition; a ridiculous amount of driving (but no running out of petrol so there is that!); a lot of work on for me, and a lot of travel for my husband.
Here’s what I’ve learned this month already (with a few oddly satisfying little life hacks):
A daily walk is a guaranteed mood-lifter and perspective-giver. An investment in time that truly delivers. Simple!
Stay close to people who feel like sunshine, particularly as we descend into winter.
The same goes for who you do business with.
Good quality sourdough (Blakes 4eva) with salted butter and optional marmalade is very happy making on autumnal mornings.
Put your phone down / close your laptop when listening to your children. Obvious perhaps but harder than it sounds.
Dress for comfort - ‘tis the season for wellies, hats and lots of layers. Everything’s better when you’re not shivering on a sideline. Remember your umbrella.
People who call you to see if you’re okay after hearing rumours about your children are the best kinds of people.
An early Autumn abroad to eke out the last of Summer with friends is a wonderful cup-filling-exercise. Do whatever you can to make it happen, every year.
Coffee on school run mornings is the nectar of the gods.
You can’t avoid the news but you can make sure you appreciate how good your life is and help in little and big ways to the causes you care about.
Sunshiny autumn days are a slice of heaven, and even better in the countryside. Appreciate them.
Social climbing is a massive red flag.
Getting up 5 mins earlier to have a flask of hot chocolate in the car that you can smugly retrieve to wide eyed children, will ensure the day runs exceptionally well thereafter. Bonus points - keeping the muffins you swiped from match tea the evening before to accompany the hot chocolate.
You don’t need a drink. But if you want to get that wind-down-treat-yourself-end-of-day feeling, don’t just drink water, make something fabulous with a nice big ice cube in a pretty glass. I love Botivo and Mother Root.
Music is the answer. Driving while singing (dare I say harmonising) with my teenage daughter with the music loud when she doesn’t otherwise engage with my chat, makes us both smile through the early mornings. There may be a few tears rolling when it’s her songs we’re singing along to (luckily it’s mostly dark).
It’s not cool, but electric blankets are very nice at the end of the day!
Being open about your struggles has two outcomes - it can push people away or it can drive deeper connection. I’ll keep being honest as laughter through tears is the only way out. And all my favourite people wear their heart on their sleeve too.
Bathtime (for you, not them!) is underrated. A highly recommended seasonal ritual as autumn accelerates - quiet time enveloped in hot bubbles, candle burning, book edges dripping, is me-time personified.
If it’s the kind of day where you’re tired, irritable and everything feels harder, don’t fight it. Go to bed early. “Tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it …yet”, more wise words from Anne (of Green Gables). It’s almost guranteed that the next day you can slice through the to-do-list faster; and be a lot nicer to be around.
‘You are only as happy as your unhappiest child.’ Unfortunately it’s true. This too shall pass, but right now, nothing else matters…
We still have my daughter’s 14th birthday, Halloween, husband away in New York, and half term shenanigans to navigate before a new month begins. But also, how very fortunate, that this is what we are ‘navigating’. Not the horrors in the world around us.
“I get to do this, rather than, I have to do this.”
This shall be my mantra, as ever, and for the rest of the month.
Happy half term and rest of October, wherever you are.
See you in November!
Emily
x
I loved your list for October and included a link to it in my ideas for what to do as the nights become darker. https://jdicken.substack.com/p/finding-light-as-the-nights-draw
A great read thank you! I’m stealing the hot chocolate idea I love it! I’m a heart on sleeve kind of girl always a risk but love how you sum that up x